Three words: puerto rican gang bang
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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