Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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