it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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