Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
