I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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