I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
