You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
then he tried to convert me to islam
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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