Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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