You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
