dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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