Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
