On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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