Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
