so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm at about main and main street
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
