How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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