k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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