Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
