she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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