Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Randomize
