i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
