Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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