apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
