ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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