I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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