My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
