Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
