i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
