I'm eating all of the evidence.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
