I faked an abortion last night.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
