Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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