she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
