in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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