Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
