I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I will be naked everywhere
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
