last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize