If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
