Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
