God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
