I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
