i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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