So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
