i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
