normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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