Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
