I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
