No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
