remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
