I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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