Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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