Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize