If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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