Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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