but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
