put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
