dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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