He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
