I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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