She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
