guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize