we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
