he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
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I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
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That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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