I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
