I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
