Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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